Drew is sent to his room by his “choice” or lack of three times before breakfast. Phone rings…Hello? Looks like so and so has Covid. Have you had contact in the last blah blah blah. Can’t we treat it like the gays in the military in the 70’s? Wait ✋ now what the hell is that suppose to mean? Don’t ask…Phone rings again, your nasal swab came back with bacteria. It’s nothing to be alarmed about. Come get the prescription take x days before and x days after and you should be good to go for surgery. Hang up the phone. Phone rings. Surgery has been moved to a different day and a different location but you’ll be more satisfied👍 Me: umm OK that sounds good. Hang up Me: “Oh good gravy, Dempsi, you need to slow down!” Reaching to stop her I slip and fall to the ground letting out a moan. The boys check on me, “mommy you ok, need help?” After watching me throw my pencil into the wall. Dempsi races to her room confused how to react. At some point being injured breaks you in and makes you mad until you surrender. It’s like being smoked in the face on an inbounds play with the basketball, it doesn’t matter whose sorry it just sucks and you sit and cry until your nose and eyes stop watering. After soaking in tears I creep to check on Dempsi. She gives me a hug and says she’s sorry she didn’t check on me, her feelings were hurt. As we console and hug and chat about how mommy is hurt but it doesn’t excuse her or my actions (her the running through the house and me getting upset). She asks if we can read a story and sits in my lap. Sitting with her flipping through pages I realize it’s all about the make up talks or the sweet check ins by two sticky toddlers. I always think I need so much help but realize most everything I need is right in front if me. I’m so very blessed to have what I have and am reminded to be grateful 🙏
Finally made it to the lake today. Or as Dempsi calls it “her ocean”. Will had to touch it (can you blame him). Drew wore Dempsi’s water shoes so he didn’t miss out. Walter and I tagged along listening to Al teach us how electricity was made 🖤
Sometimes your not your best and that’s ok. The challenging part comes when performing is apart of your nature. Addicted to the game, hard time stopping, and loves to run easily describe my childhood. Rolled my ankles in 7th grade and from then on the injuries never stopped. The kid who spent more time in the training room than actually practice. More time rehabbing then strength training. Still the expectations were insane. Remembering maxing lifts on game days makes me sick to my stomach when looking down at my bionic peg. Only now am I in the frame of mind to understand the capacity of “over doing it”. November brings good news. Healing is coming my way, time to get my other knee replaced. I remember coach Gary telling me to call him if I was ever down and to keep my head up. Now I know what he meant. Spending time off your feet by yourself is somewhat alarming. Learning to ask for help and reading have been tools for success. Getting prepared, trying not to beat myself up and many prayers for this next big one. So excited to get myself and this body back, its been a long time coming, ready to let this pain go.