Missing you was never enough

Loneliness when times were tough

Misplaced energy wasted space

World completely out of place

Time and anger lead to sadness

Bitter to the core feelings suppress

Healing slow as a hurried sloth

luke warm brand new wash cloth

Stronger each day cry on whim

Tears of joy and hardship

Laundry beside the bin

Miss you angel it’s been some time 💞

Dempsi roll, tootsie roll, favorite sweets for the soul

My moms pop sure livened her up, turned her to a sugar rushed pup

And your resemblance of her and your Grandma Sue

Heartbreaking and obvious in all the things that you do

So mind your manners and praise the cross

Grateful for you, our special first coin toss

Why are your arms so strong your hips shoot wide and your tears fall

You take all the pain away then add to it to, oh watching you, lil man you. Your cry is so sweet, your sisters and brother love you, oh your mighty reflexes, lil man you. You act so plain and sleep through it all even Dempsi’s epic meltdown about a mosquito so small. We love you so much our new lil man, love cruising with you and our lil Browneclan

Sometimes I believe he’s more in tune with me than me. The questions he asks or face he makes let’s me know how he’s feeling and I’m feeling by my reaction or lack of. One thing is clear he’s my best friend hands down. It’s alarming how close you get when your pregnant with our personality types. The team never stops full of vibrant of children playing lots of melt downs matched with memories and dreams. We have come so far as a couple yet were only human still managing life. The future seems golden bright with a bit of effort and a side of freedom. Everything will be that already is learning to enjoy it is half the fun. Together is amazing especially when hormones collide late in pregnancy and the family struggles to synchronize. Thankful for the bright future and love that surrounds.

Sometimes I touch your forehead to be reminded your really here. Sometimes it feels like a fantasy or dream and I get paranoid it’s not real.

Truthfully I’ve been lost minded before and I’m learning to trust myself not relying on emotion but a deeper connection within. It all feels like a selfish reality to be apart of yet something says jump and find joy.

I grew up this way, surrounded by empty beauty. Depth wasn’t the question, from around age 10, I knew there was none. “She’s hot”, really gave little to work with. Looking up but never within to find the true beauty of life. The beautiful people look different on the inside, thier souls shine. Easy to find these people learning to enjoy rather than compete. Let it out if it feels right and never be afraid to fire dance with all your person. It’s not going to be perfect or easy but what a life it may be if your free. Take a shower, order up a pamper leave all the bullshit behind in the hamper. Make the mistake color the fuckin picture…find

Never there when I needed you

Never there at all

Only behind the scenes

Laughing when I fall

A tad bit wiser

Time helps align

Confusing moments

Left in time

Observing now

Interesting features

People hurt people

Typical creatures

Look for helpers

Look inside

Find the strength

They tried to hide

Vibing hard

Starting communication

Internal voice

Personal vacation

Lil Will found a friend

His very first pet

Until the end

He took the beetle

Around the block

Stopping often as friends do

To play and talk

He nurtured that bugger

The entire way

Brought him inside

To crawl and stay

Dad said outside

Mouth jaw dropped

Not in the house

Zen nearly popped

Bo’s tears began to fall

We took ol’ blacky out back

Let him be sweets that’s all

Aww he makes life stop and motherhood admirable. His lense is his own so glad he’s starting to share.